The Best & Worst Things Of Being An Older Drummer

[Riddim]

@Rob - and for that matter, everyone - if we're going to make a family, that should probably be our foremost passion, no? Raising the adorable little psychopaths we all start out as to become healthily socialized, self sustaining, reasonably happy adults with not too many psychological scars, is no small undertaking.

BTW, I like what you brought to the music as well.

We play who we are. The more we experience, the more we have to share, given some imagination and the work to develop the facility to express it.

[Da Chooch]

Riddim...

You hit exactly on what I neglected to, but I talk about this a lot to other friends who ask..."how do you make the time to play in a band?"

Many of these other people have let go of their passions after having a family...and it shows. Life...to me anyway...is about balance, not perfection.

I am really enjoying life while participating in many very different areas...and bangin' out rock tunes is one of them! I did quit playing baseball after our daughter was born 21 years ago...that was tough...but time is time, and it ran out!

My kids have been involved in the band taking video/photos, selling merch, being roadies. I was hoping one of them would take to the drums or another instrument, but did not...both are very much their own person with their own passions and maybe that is better! They have been able to witness and participate in my passions and I can only hope that it has helped to form their own.

I left the musical instrument business in the early 90s so I could make more money in another industry and not have to travel so much after having a family. Turns out that I was also able to play music more, make more money at it, and enjoy a fuller lifestyle beyond both work and playing drums.

Of course, your mileage may vary. There are always things I wish I could do better...including raising our kids.

Rob,

I wholeheartedly agree with your philosophy when it comes to life and our pursuit of our passions and that word to me also is "balance". I think that that is the WORD that i always refer back to when a sense of overwhelming / responsibilities / complexities of life come my way. I appreciate your insight in regards to having a family as well. thank you for quantifying and articulating what I had felt in my heart all along. btw - I think you missed your other calling which is "motivational speaker" or "life coach". thanks again. you are an inspiration to me and I'm sure to alot of us here on H.O.D.

~ Chooch

[Da Chooch]

I just turned 58 a couple weeks ago and I realized I've been at this for 54 years (played my first gig for cash at the age of 4).

Best...everything! I'm more in demand now than ever, playing regularly with 5 different bands and a couple of "off-shoots." My playing is so much more focused, relaxed and, most importantly, consistent than ever. I am reaping the benefits of having analyzed drumming ergonomics in my early 30's...nothing hurts when I play or the morning after. I have also learned to let sound reinforcement do its thing. I pick up new things so much quicker and do not get frustrated or discouraged by things that I find I can't do...there's so much more I can do that it balances out. I love playing so much more now than ever mainly because I have been fortunate enough to find guys who are simply a pleasure to be around that just happen to be motherf*(&ers on their instruments. I guess it was reflecting on what happened shortly after 9/11...I came to the realization that life really is short and it was time I went back to playing for the very reason I started in the first place...it was fun. Music was starting to become a chore; playing with people who were name droppers and just never happy with anything anyone else did...lot's of back stabbing and nit picking of endless (and mindless) silly details. I started thinking, we're not surgeons, we don't deal with life and death...we entertain. It's only music and in the grand scheme of things it's not something to get all that anal over. If I'm not entertaining myself, how the hell am I supposed to entertain an audience? People are flying planes into buildings and the keyboard player is pissed because I reacted to a figure the sax player did...give me a fuckin' break...so I quit that gig. I only do gigs that I know I will enjoy and I stopped playing strictly for money...that's what the day job is for. I don't do any high profile stuff these days but I don't need to. I've already played before crowds of 60,000 and been on TV and all...I still play at some pretty cool venues and I do my share of fests and the like. The main thing is when I sit down behind the kit I'm 4 again and having the time of my life. I don't think about what I'm doing, I just play. I guess that was the goal all along.

Worst...I don't have a Phoenix kit.

I'll have what HE'S having and make it a double on the rocks for me pleeez!!

[robhaerr]

[color=#8040FF] btw - I think you missed your other calling which is "motivational speaker" or "life coach". thanks again. you are an inspiration to me and I'm sure to alot of us here on H.O.D.

~ Chooch

Chooch...

Wow...thanks for that nod...not sure I am worthy of such high praise!

[Da Chooch]

[color=#8040FF] btw - I think you missed your other calling which is "motivational speaker" or "life coach". thanks again. you are an inspiration to me and I'm sure to alot of us here on H.O.D.

~ Chooch

Chooch...

Wow...thanks for that nod...not sure I am worthy of such high praise!

Rob,

spoke to me, sir! you are an inspiration

[tobiasralph]

One of the hardest things to get a handle on is balance. Everything has a price.

The decision to reproduce is not one to be taken lightly ( I waited until I was relatively financially secure before I went there), and kids, relationships, day gigs, etc., do take time - but they offer rewards of their own which endure after the applause dies, and which are essential if one is to be a more complete person. If you have no life beyond the practice room, it will show. Kids will make you develop, make you become more selfless, less rigid, and more aware of those around you - all good things if one aspires to be a musician, I think.

Bruford has a line in his bio about there being 2 kinds of people in the world; those with children, and those without. I think there is a lot of truth to that; I see it every day in the people I deal with.

Riddim...

You hit exactly on what I neglected to, but I talk about this a lot to other friends who ask..."how do you make the time to play in a band?"

Many of these other people have let go of their passions after having a family...and it shows. Life...to me anyway...is about balance, not perfection.

I am really enjoying life while participating in many very different areas...and bangin' out rock tunes is one of them! I did quit playing baseball after our daughter was born 21 years ago...that was tough...but time is time, and it ran out!

My kids have been involved in the band taking video/photos, selling merch, being roadies. I was hoping one of them would take to the drums or another instrument, but did not...both are very much their own person with their own passions and maybe that is better! They have been able to witness and participate in my passions and I can only hope that it has helped to form their own.

I left the musical instrument business in the early 90s so I could make more money in another industry and not have to travel so much after having a family. Turns out that I was also able to play music more, make more money at it, and enjoy a fuller lifestyle beyond both work and playing drums.

Of course, your mileage may vary. There are always things I wish I could do better...including raising our kids.

I agree with what Rob, Riddim and Da Chooch are saying. Balance is the key. As I have gotten older, I’ve definitely used my experience to better navigate my career and life. Honestly, when I was in my 20’s, I had no clue at all, but I thought that I did. I had way more free time to practice, obsess and hyper-analyze my playing to the point where it could have been an unhealthy thing. Especially back when I was at Berklee. It was the norm because you were around loads of other drummers that were doing the exact same thing. I also didn’t get the whole business side to the music industry and my drumming was always my main focus; trying to be the best at whatever, the fastest, the most technical and all of that stuff. My first recording session changed that fast and the producer humbled me in a way that I'll never forget. With age, my passion for drumming/music has not waned and if anything, it’s only deepened and matured. I still practice as much as possible, but I obsess far less about the things that mattered to me in 20’s. I struggle with certain aspects of my playing that I would like to strengthen, but my approach is more realistic. I just play for the love of the music and give it my all. A friend of mine (who also happens to be a great drummer), Sammy Merendino told me right before the birth of my baby, “When you have a child, your whole career is going to open up for you like it never has before ” and you know what? He was right. My whole life and career changed in a way that I could never have expected. Suddenly, it wasn’t just about me or my drumming career anymore. I was responsible for a little person and it fuels me to work harder and be present in my life. Having a family and a career is and has always been about balance and commitment. I play with some cats that are much older/experienced than me and they definitely aren’t worse for wear because of their age. It’s a state of mind. They’re still kicking it and they push me to another level with each show. It’s a tough business and I’m very fortunate to be able to play/make music for a living, but when you walk off the stage life goes on. Your perspective creates your experience. Older =Wiser