When a gig is done- moving on

[smoggrocks]

i've never had a gig on that level but know of people that have and have gone further and not gone further, and it seems like the natural trajectory for a musician trying to get somewhere with their art.

i agree with the others that it's inspiring just hearing about your journey and dedication, so all you can do is keep awn keeping awn. i think it's great that you're putting it in perspective and not getting too hung up on the loss. i tend to get hyper-attached to any project, music or not, and get really down when it ends. but the older i get, the more i see that life is too short to obsess over any given thing.

it's likely too simplistic, especially in the music realm, but at a certain point i do see things as a numbers game and the more you are in the game, the better your chances of hitting!


rock on-

[Pocketplayer]

I think if we are honest (never want to think for another, but...) there
is a part of us that NEVER wants to be 2nd or replaceable.

For some, this is a huge motivator.

Some like to be the big fish in the little pond and never venture out of their
comfort zone.

These moment give us a rare glimpse of who we are...if we will listen. How we
react to this type of loss and the internal messages played out in our head is
who we are (in this time period). Most of the time we suppress this message like
the guy dating the hot gal who works out 5 days a week, buys a car he can't afford,
and wears clothes he doesn't like. After she leaves him, he wonders what in the
world he was doing...how did he drift so far from his core? It is here he will realign
himself or ask her friend out...after all, he already has the car, clothes, and gym
membership...it's just easier.

I think in the end, some are better suited for this business and its lifestyle.
It is NOT normal...suburban...it is the entertainment industry!

Growing up in So Cal and having known many people including myself working
in the industry, the internal is vastly different than the external seen by the
world through the lens of the marketing machine.

In the end, it is not skill (although important as we all know) it is relationships.
It is community. It is timing. It is perseverance and availability.

On the other hand, there will be a day when you will find a 'prettier girl' and decide
to leave a gig for another. Everyone wants to move forward...behind that secure
looking band is a thin layer of plywood they all stand on...it easily can break.
As long as one can understand this and STILL give it their all in the moment...then
you can sustain.

Makes you in awe of those bands that have been together for so long...

I've said this b4...you moved to LA, hung out with guys in this forum much older...
I remember hanging at LA D's house for a HOD hang...kits set up...you and Steve
played together...you never hesitated once...you were what, 19 at the time?
You had that free spirit "go for it" attitude...when you look back at age 40...wherever
you are, you can be one of the few that can say humbly, "Yeah...I gave it a go."

[willyz]

Joe- I was 18, mate! Fresh out of high school and my parents house!

[Josiah]

Thanks for the story Willyz, it doesn't seem like a loss at all. It seems like you've gained a lot on all the levels, and made some cash in the process. What more can you ask for?

Does this impact your thinking about moving to the N. West?

I was on a huge gig (some time ago), lead singer had a kid. Whole thing shuts down. It happens, it's life.
I personally go into all playing situations figuring things will never last, lets made the best of it while we got it. That's life as a whole though in many ways.

[Rhythmatist]

I'm 57 now...that same thing will probably happen a dozen or more times in your career. You've just taken a lesson in dealing with it, which it sounds like you're doing...and quite professionally I might add. Nonetheless, it still hits you in the gut when it happens. My first "big" one was back in my late 20's I was working with a young female vocalist who had this town by the balls. She was doing all the big jingle accounts and there was a buzz going on all over about her. Phil Ramone was interested in doing some stuff with her and got her a couple tunes on movie soundtracks. We thought we were on our way up till the time she got so stressed with it she just decided one day to hang it up!

Since that time I've always tried to involve myself in several projects at the same time...even non-gig musical activities like rehearsal bands, private jam sessions and the like. They keep you active playing-wise as well as keeping those contacts happening. I'm currently gigging with 2 bands on a regular basis and 4 others sporadically as well as a semi-regular rehearsal band situation at a friend's house. I had an opportunity to also play with a local college big band but I think that might be pushing things a bit so I'm considering canning that one for now.

A quick off topic...my wife and daughter will be down in Austin next week to check out UTA (she's looking at the PHD program in the English dept.). Are there any good spots for both, a 20 something and 50 something to enjoy?

[willyz]

Josiah- this certianly is a variable in a potential move for me. As of right now my only commitment in Austin is a gig in March. I've been reaching out to some contacts and have been invited out to a couple "auditions" (by "auditions" I mean jams with a mix of old/young guys that have never played a gig before in their lives and guitar players that only play through giant Line 6 pods...) that weren't for me, and I'm trying to set somethings up myself... so we'll see what happens. I'm also waiting on an insurance settlement from a car accident that happened in June which will greatly have a positive effect on my finances.

Rhythmastist- I'd explore 6th street during the day/early evening there's a couple bars that have decent food (B.D. RIleys is a nice little Irish pub, Iron Cactus for tex mex, and Casino El Camino- though a little weird- has a great burger). South Congress is great to walk around too. There's a few parks around down town (gotta check out the SRV statue) too. Give me a shout if you've got a chance to get away and we'll grab a beer or something.

...and also, cats, I just want to say that without this turning into another one of my diatribes- thanks for all the support and adivce over the years. I can only hope that one day I reach my long term goals and am able to help and guide a youngster like myself as ya'll have done for me.

Cheers!

[Rhythmatist]

Looks like I'll be moving on from my main gig. The leader is calling it quits due to the stress. But...he's already lining up something new for both of us (where he can be a sidemen) so I'm looking forward to that. I'm even reconsidering the college big band thing.

Seems like it's cyclical for me. Anywhere from 3-6 years and out. Even my stints in freelancing/jobbing.

I'm staying in Chicago this time around...just my wife and daughter heading down. If she chooses UTA I know I'll be coming down that way a few times a year. If you're still there I'll give you a holler.

[Riddim]

What do you want to have accomplished by the time you turn 80?

What do you have to do between then and now to achieve these?

What music/musicians do you want to t play with? Where are they? What can you do to help this happen?

I'm thinking that if you want to catch marlin, it's easier if you go where the marlin are. Not that there's anything wrong with salmon.

[tobiasralph]

Willyz-

I can sympathize with how you feel. I've been in this situation many times and I'm sure that it will happen many more times in my career. When a group disbands or another drummer is brought in just to "try out" right under your nose (and you're even asked to "rehearse" him!), it's a bit difficult not to take it personally in some capacity or feel a bit lost. Especially when you've invested a great deal of time and energy in a project. It's hard to process what the lesson is at the time because it really stings, but eventually it all becomes clear. Ultimately, these expereinces have helped me evolve as a player (and person) and constantly encourage me to be present 100% of the time, no matter where or who I'm playing with and no matter how many people will watch or ever hear it. I've learned that If I'm dedicated and passionate about music and drumming then that energy will help create new and better opportunities for me to experience. Remember that when one door closes, another will open. You just have to decide if you want to walk in and stay awhile.

I wish you all the best in your career.

Cheers,
Tobias

[Josiah]

What do you want to have accomplished by the time you turn 80?

Woa 80?!


Come on.



Ha ha that made me laugh though. I don't personally plan on living that long, so it's interesting someone else would set that age as an "accomplished by" point.

Figure you gotta do what you want to to do AND have the time after to enjoy it.