When drumming takes a back seat….

[patdrums]

Man, I know just where your head is and all I can offer you is the security of knowing that treatment methods have grown by leaps and bounds in the last few decades and early detection is a huge bonus in treating cancer effectively. I've beaten it three times now in my own life (Lymphoma) and what she needs right now is someone to rely on. Be there for her. She's gonna be fine and you can really support her ability to cope and win by keeping her spirits up, letting her know that you're in the fight 1000% and reassuring her that while it's a serious issue, it's gonna turn out to be a bump in the road that you both are gonna get over and keep going. I'm convinced that a positive mental attitude is a gigantic help in winning.

My advice for you is to put your noses to the grindstone and plow thru it. Ask questions of your doctors so you know where to address things from. And don't spend too much time on the internet looking for answers. There is a PILE of info floating around out there and if you get sucked into the vortex of conflicting stories and methods, it can really screw up your ability to be strong, focused and objective. Again, I know this from experience.

It's a tough thing to hear the word "cancer"....I know. But FAR more people these days beat it than ever before. It's gonna be inconvenient, maybe uncomfortable here and there. But when it's over, you both will have a renewed outlook on life, the world and each other.

If there is any way that I may be able to help, please contact me. There's something that happens to you when you go through this that makes you want to help people who have just been forced to join the club. I've learned a few tricks and methods that made treatment more bearable and less uncomfortable for me and I'd be happy to share any and all of them if you need. Just say the word.

Stay strong, supportive, focused and everything will be okay. Drums will always be there. Her health is way more important right now.

Positive thoughts and wishes to you both...


Pat

[willyz]

I feel you- and you can choose to believe me or not for whatever reasons. But it happens.

In a span of two months my girlfriend got pregnant (I'm 23, she's 25), lost the baby due to a miscarriage, and got in a car wreck that caused her to loose vision out of one eye.

I chose to do what I believe you're doing and that what any good man would do. Stay strong, do right by her and take care of her, and return to the drums not only when she's ready, but when you're ready. Best of luck mate- nothing but positive vibes going your way...

[Mike Meyers]

Good thoughts headed your way, John!

Mike

[S.P]

Best wishes to your wife and yourself John. Keep us updated on her progress. I've had times myself where certain things that happened took my attention away from the drums but it comes back. It's a journey, sometimes you'll be more into it, sometimes less but as long as your have an interest in drums, you'll keep doing it!

[Julián Fernández]

Hope you find the courage to help her deal with it... Best wishes to you and her.

[JohnDrum]

See - I just knew how you guys would react - there are some huge hearts on this forum.
thank you all -thank you for all of your thoughts, your prayers and offers of help and advice. I will contact those who have offered specific insights - sadly, all to many of us have either had, or had someone close affected by, this evil thing.
Thank you again.
John

[JohnDrum]

UPDATE.
For all those of you who have asked, we finally got her home last night. Op went well, but she had a couple of very tough days afterwards...she now has to rest and recover form the procedure, then results from biopsy in 10 days which will determine what form the ongoing treatment will take. We'll have to deal with this as it happens, but I guess the main thing is to keep the big picture in view: they got it early, started treatment within 10 days, and with ongoing treatment, she should do OK. The big problem for her(and for countless others) I guess, will be the emotional fallout, especially for a woman, and dealing with it all mentally.

Huge thanks to you all again for your thoughts and prayers, and to those who contacted me by PM, I will reply -it all means so much.

John